Have you ever faced a setback that left you questioning your abilities? Today I want to share five tips on what to say to yourself when things don’t go your way. Whether it’s a presentation that didn’t connect with your audience, you didn’t get the speaking contract...or you didn’t win a speaking contest, these tips can help you stay resilient and motivated as you navigate those tough moments.
Tip # 1. Every Setback is a Setup for a Comeback .
Did you know setbacks, challenges, and failures are opportunities to learn and grow? When things don’t go your way, they often lead to even better outcomes than we initially imagined. As Les Brown said, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars." Remember, each setback is just a stepping stone to your next success.
Tip # 2. Focus on What You Can Control.
When things don’t go your way... you can’t change everything, but you can ALWAYS control your attitude and your efforts. This keeps you grounded and proactive. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, either way, you’re right." Focus on what you “CAN control” rather than what you can’t, and you’ll find it easier to stay positive and move forward.
Tip # 3. Believe in the Bigger Picture.
Here’s why that’s important. When it comes to setbacks, life has a way of redirecting us to paths that align more with our true purpose and potential. Trusting the journey helps you stay positive. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."Believe that there’s a bigger plan at work when things don’t go your way.
Tip # 4. Self-Compassion is Key!
Like you, I practice kindness towards myself, I recognize that everyone faces obstacles. It’s okay to feel disappointed, but I no longer let disappointments define my worth or capabilities. For example, when I didn’t win the Toastmasters International Speech Evaluation Contest this year, I took time to acknowledge my feelings of disappointment. However, I also reminded myself of my growth and progress. I congratulated myself for making it to the district level. If you’re a Toastmaster, you can probably relate. A quote I love, that I not only memorized but also internalized is from World Champion of Public Speaking David Brooks who said, “You don’t compete because you’re the best. You become the best because you compete." When things don’t go your way, celebrate yourself. Self-compassion helps you bounce back stronger.
Tip # 5. Stay Grateful!
When things don’t go your way... take a moment to appreciate what you do have and the progress you’ve made. Here’s what I know for sure. ‘An attitude of Gratitude' can shift your perspective and keep you motivated. As thee Oprah Winfrey says, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Next time you face a setback, remind yourself of these five tips: Every setback is a setup for a comeback...Focus on what you can control…Believe in the Bigger Picture…Self-compassion is key...and Stay grateful.
Here’s a call to action: Share in the comments a time when you’ve overcome a challenge and how you did it. Remember, resilience is built in these moments. Keep speaking and shining...when things don’t go your way!
If you are ready to work on your communication and presentation skills, here are three ways to get started:
1. Take my speaker confidence assessment.
2. Attend my free Speak with Confidence and Ease workshop.
3. Schedule a 20-minute discovery call with me.
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